


A Promise

by aimichan



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Cancer, Death, F/M, other characters are in briefly, sadfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 14:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11625900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimichan/pseuds/aimichan
Summary: A what if, like in korean dramas of old, the MC has cancer and is dying? This is a story of her dying, and the aftermath, from 707's point of view. A sad-fic.





	A Promise

“I love you,” you say sweetly.

“I love you,” you say with tears.

“I love you,” you say with all the happiness you can muster.

And countless more, you keep on repeating those words in all the ways you can think of, and the little cat robot dutifully records it all. It is, after all, programmed to follow your orders above all else.

In between the reiterations of I love yous, you record other things you think he might miss. Your laughter. Your breath. Your sighs.

You also leave him messages. As many as you can think of.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“My life was worth living because you were in it.”

“I’m so glad I got to meet you through the messenger. Even with all that’s happened, I don’t regret a second of it.”

“I’ll be by your side, even if you can’t see me. Even if you can’t hear me, or feel me, I will always be with you.”

“I hope you’re happy, always, whether it’s by remembering me, or with someone else.”

The last recording took a couple of tries, because he’s with you right now, and you love him so much, you don’t want to even think of him being with someone else, but you know you can’t give him forever. Not in this life, so you have to let him go. So that he can be happy, and that, more than anything, matters the most.

The next words you record are a bit more of your current feelings spilling out uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to fall in love, or to have you love me back! I just wanted to have fun, to live freely in the last moments of my life! That’s why I wanted to join the RFA in the first place. Why I was always so eager, so willing and accepting.”

You hesitate a bit, but the words keep coming, and you just let them go.

“I thought I would be making some nice online acquaintances who I wouldn’t have to worry about pitying a dying girl. It was a safe place where no one knew that one crucial fact about me, and would treat me normally, and you all did! You all chatted with me openly about your life problems, about day to day worries, and silly things that made no sense.”

“But then, problems arose one after another, and you never treated me like a cracked porcelain glass. You pushed me away, and then you accepted me wholeheartedly, and in those moments, I’ve never felt so alive.”

“And that’s the one thing I can never forgive myself, even though I wouldn’t change a thing. I fell in love with you in just five days, and I let you fall in love with me, knowing you didn’t know about my condition. I let you fall in love with a dying girl, and that’s…”

You pause here, choking on your tears, because of how much you’ve hurt him, hurt them by holding this information back.

“There’s nothing I can do or say that will make this better, because the truth is, I’m dying and you’re going to still be here, and I’m so sorry! I wish I had at least let you all know at first! It’s my fault… and now you’ll have to lose me.”

You deflate as soon as the words leave your mouth. This isn’t something you should be leaving him. It won’t make anything better.

“Cat, delete…” you struggle in getting the words out. It’s true that these words aren’t what you’d want him to keep, but he’ll need an explanation, and you won’t be there to give him one.

“Nevermind,” you quickly say instead. These words are the least you can leave for him. “Just, if he ever asks why, let him hear that, okay?” you tell the cat instead.

“Okay,” it chimes back cheerfully.

You smile at the cat, and continue on.

“Let’s get married at the space station,” you say in that silly voice he likes to hear when you’re both playing around.

“Don’t eat too many Honey Butter Chips! Make sure you eat something healthy too,” you add considering how little he seems to take care of himself.

“Play nice with Saeran,” you warn teasingly, imagining the three of you living together in his home, getting into small fights over food, games, anything.

“Saeran will forgive you, because I can see how hard you’re trying, and so can he. And you’ll be happy together.”

You stop recording when the nurse comes in. You barely notice that you’ve pressed the call button for more pain medication.

“Is there really no one you’d like to call for?” The nurse asks worriedly as she administers another dose of fentanyl to the IV.

You shake your head. No one is nearby and even should they know, they wouldn’t be able to understand the situation in time. Saeran’s still getting treatment at the hospital, and everyone’s still reeling from V’s funeral. You haven’t had the chance to tell anyone that you’re dying, and by the time the funeral was over, you’d begun to feel pain that made you seek out the hospital you’d been going to for the past year. It’s a small hospital, all you could afford at the time, and all they could do was take away the pain.

It’s funny how had you met these people just a year earlier, maybe you’d have had a chance to live with them, but it’s too late now, and they’ll find out when you’re gone. It’s cruel, but call it the last wishes of a dying girl.

The only thing that went your way is how busy everyone was after the funeral,, with Saeran, Rika, and all of those brainwashed people needing help. No one really minded that you’d be gone for a while, needing to take care of things you couldn’t while stuck at the apartment, and later, on the road trip to uncover the truth.

And you don’t regret one moment of the journey. The only thing you regret is this moment, that you won’t be able to hear his voice, that he’s not here to hold your hand, or to give you one last kiss. Hmm, maybe you should have told him that you were going to the hospital, that you were dying, although at the time, you hadn’t wanted to add to his burdens, plus, you didn’t want him to leave you behind when you were both still searching for Saeran. Still, you can’t help but think that this is worse now, without him here, for both you and him.

Ah, that was right. There was one last thing you needed to record.

“Saeyoung.”

“Saeyoung!”

“Saeyoung….”

“I love you, Saeyoung, and I’m sorry. I wish I could hear you one last time…”

Cat… Cat. Make sure you delete that last part.

“Let’s get married at the space station,” you hear him say as you close your eyes.

Yes! Always yes, and you smile as you breath your last. 

* * *

 At first, Saeyoung doesn’t quite believe what the woman on the other side is saying. Instead, he checks to make sure that he’s calling the right number. It can’t be wrong because the app doesn’t get things wrong. Was he hacked again?

But no. That’s her name the woman is saying, and that she’s…

The phone drops from his hand, but Jaehee is there to pick it up.

“Really, you’re not at an age where you should be dropping things,” she chides as she picks it up, and stands to hand it back to him, but freezes when she sees his face.

What is his face showing, he wonders, that she looks so worried. Jaehee takes the call now, and he can see her face going pale. Maybe that’s what his face looks like, and he raises a hand to pinch his cheeks.

It hurts, but not really. His cheeks aren’t hurting, no matter how hard he pinches. What hurts is his chest. It feels like someone’s taken a knife and carved a hole into him, gaping wide and bleeding red. He looks down to check and see, and nope, he’s fine, but why does he hurt so much?

That was right. She’d wanted him to fix the dog and give it to her. He feels a sudden urge to go to that right away.

“Saeyoung, where are you going?” Jaehee calls out from behind him, but he’s in a hurry to get out of here. He needs out of the hospital. The dog. It should still be in his garage at his home. He hasn’t had much time to clean up, what with one thing happening after another, but he needs to do that too, so that she can move in when she’s able to.

Jumin blocks his way just before he can leave the hospital.

“Where are you going?” Saeyoung glances up to see tears in Jumin’s eyes. He must be hallucinating. The man didn’t even cry at V’s funeral.

“I’m going home. I need to get something,” Saeyoung says as he tries to get around the taller man.

“Saeyoung, what about her? She has no family and in her will, she requested-”

“Ah! I forgot! I need to make an update to the app! Gotta hurry home!”

Jumin grabs him by the shoulders and yells, “Saeyoung! She’s dead! They’re going to cremate her unless you request for something else! The will specified you! And if you don’t-”

“She’s not dead! She can’t be dead! She was just fine a week ago! She’s not dead! She’s not…!” Saeyoung can hear himself yelling, but everything feels numb inside to the point where he can’t hear himself. Is he really yelling?

Is he… crying? Is that why it’s raining inside? Nothing makes sense anymore. His world is gone.

* * *

The funeral is done, and Saeran’s therapy is going better now, and Saeyoung’s home by himself, a few of her personal effects spread out beside him. The cat is back with him again, but he ignores it for her cell phone.

She’d taken a lot of pictures of him, he notices, although there’s a couple of them with each other too. She’s taken one of him sleeping and her in bed next to him. His hand trembles at the thought that he won’t ever be able to hold her again, to tell her he loves her again, and he puts the phone down.

He has so many things he wants to ask, so many things he wants to tell, and even yell at her for. Why hadn’t she let him know? Why had she joined the messenger if she was dying? Why hadn’t she refused them? Why did she die alone? Was she scared? Did it hurt? Was she always in pain? He goes through his memories, trying to think back on their time together, scrutinizing every detail.

Maybe that headache should have been a sign. Or that time she’d coughed.

“Why?” he cries brokenly to the air as he grabs at his chest. And suddenly, the cat is waking up, and her voice comes out.

 _I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!_ She sounds so sad, he wishes he could hold her, but she never even gave him the chance.

_I didn’t mean to fall in love, or to have you love me back! I just wanted to have fun, to live freely in the last moments of my life! That’s why I wanted to join the RFA in the first place. Why I was always so eager, so willing and accepting._

It makes more sense now, how she’d jumped at the opportunity, how she’d stayed so optimistic even with the hacker and kidnapping. Even with the bomb, considering she was carrying one inside herself all along. And he’d never known. He doesn’t think he can’t hate himself more than now.

_I thought I would be making some nice online acquaintances who I wouldn’t have to worry about pitying a dying girl. It was a safe place where no one knew that one crucial fact about me, and would treat me normally, and you all did! You all chatted with me openly about your life problems, about day to day worries, and silly things that made no sense._

He wishes he could take it back. All of it back. He wishes they’d never met. Then he wouldn’t be hurting this much!

_But then, problems arose one after another, and you never treated me like a cracked porcelain glass ready to break. You pushed me away, and then you accepted me wholeheartedly, and in those moments, I’ve never felt so alive._

That was true. He’d never felt so whole, so loved, so alive. Maybe that’s why this hurts so much, having her gone to a place he can’t follow.

_And that’s the one thing I can never forgive myself, even though I wouldn’t change a thing. I fell in love with you in just five days, and I let you fall in love with me, knowing you didn’t know about my condition. I let you fall in love with a dying girl, and that’s…_

He thinks he can feel the broken shards inside himself shattering into dust.

_There’s nothing I can do or say that will make this better, because the truth is, I’m dying and you’re going to still be here, and I’m so sorry! I wish I had at least let you all know at first! It’s my fault… and now you’ll have to lose me._

“I’ve already lost you, stupid!” he yells at the cat, half hoping that there will be another recording that will answer back. He needs something, anything, because apologies can’t be all that she’s left him.

Instead, the cat struggles a bit, before playing again.

_I love you._

_I love you!_

_I love you~_

_I love you, Saeyoung!_

“I love you too,” he manages to say between his sobs at her words.

_You’re my star! I’ll always orbit you._

_Hey! Let’s get married at the space station, okay?~_

_I love you so much._

_You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me._

“Those are my words,” Saeyoung manages to say with a wobbly smile.

_My life was worth living because you were in it._

_Hahahaha-... okay, maybe laughing is a bit hard to record, heheh!_

He can’t help the chuckle that escapes him at her silly sounds.

_I’ll be by your side, even if you can’t see me. Even if you can’t hear me, or feel me, I will always be with you._

“Are you really here?” But the thing is, he feels alone, and words can’t make that disappear.

_Please be happy. I pray that only happy things come to you from now on!_

He doesn’t think he has the will to appreciate any happiness that comes to him, now that she’s gone.

_Play nice with Saeran~_

Even in death, she remembered Saeran. She was always thinking of him, wasn’t she.

_Make sure to eat your vegetables too! Honey Butter Chips is not a major food group, no matter how I’ve joked with you about it in the past!_

The messages are sort of a mess, not said in any particular order. Was it on purpose? Was her mind so far gone that she couldn’t remember things she’d already said? He wishes he could have been there for her in those last moments, that he could have said “I love you,” one more time, to reassure her of his unchanging love for her, that he would cherish her forever.

The next message that plays is the clearest one, her voice sharp and alert, probably one of her first recordings.

_Hey, Saeyoung, I’ll always be waiting for you, so don’t worry about me, okay? You live a long happy, healthy life! Just because I’m your first love doesn’t mean you can’t have a second one or a third one, okay? … I am your first love, right? Oh man, now I’m super curious! I wish I could ask you! But then, I’d have to explain, and that would ruin this surprise._

_Sometimes, I wish I’d told you earlier, but I could never find the timing, and later, it got worse. Of course, it was all too late by the time I’d met you guys, so there was no hope of me getting better, and I guess I just really wanted friends who’d accept me without the cancer thing hanging in the air. Just for a moment, I wanted to be happy, and that was selfish of me, but I hope you don’t mind too much because I was incredibly happy the entire time I was with you, and I don’t regret a second of it._

_I know it’s not much, but if you ever get lonely, or want to hear my voice, just ask cat, okay? I’ve done my best to record all of the things I thought you’d like to hear, or want to hear, and some things I thought I should tell you. Of course, if you’d rather forget about me, I understand too! Just please, be happy. Somehow, I hope you’ll find happiness. Because you know what?_

_Saeyoung, I love you._

“I love you too, silly.”

_Ah! You just made fun of me, didn’t you! Well, I don’t mind, because it’s you~_

“Hey cat, was she… okay, in the end?”

Her voice, weak and breathless, as if in pain, plays back, _I love you Saeyoung!_

Then, he hears his voice. **Let’s get married at the space station~**

_Yes! Always yes…._

And Saeyoung finally lets go and moves on.

  


Many years pass, until he too finds himself breathing his last, Saeran having gone ahead of him, and when he opens his eyes, he’s young again, and there, across the meadow, is the one girl he’s loved for all his life waiting for him like she’d promised.

Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry... I'm like a glutton for sad fics. xD Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed~ I did give them happiness at the end there, because I do love happy endings. Please leave a comment or kudos! Thanks again!


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